TENDERNESS TOWARDS PARENTS

بِسْمِ اللّٰهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحٖيمِIn the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate

اِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ اَحَدُهُمَاۤ اَوْكِلاَ هُمَا فَلاَ تَقُلْ لَهُمَاۤ اُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا ۞ وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا ۞ رَبُّكُمْ اَعْلَمُ بِمَا فِى نُفُوسِكُمْ اِنْ تَكُونُوا صَالِحِينَ فَاِنَّهُ كَانَ لِلْاَوَّابِينَ غَفُورًاIf one or both of them reach old age with you, do not even say ‘uff’ to them, nor rebuke them, but speak to them with gracious words. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say: ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they raised me when I was small.’ Your Lord knows best what is within yourselves. If you are righteous, then indeed He is Ever-Forgiving to those who constantly turn to Him. – The Quran 17:23-25

O heedless person, in whose home there resides an elderly mother, elderly father, relative, or fellow believer who is needy, powerless, or ill! Reflect carefully on these noble verses and see how they call children, in five different ways, to show tenderness and kindness towards their parents.

Indeed, the highest truth in human life is the love that parents have for their children, and the greatest right they deserve in return for that love is respect and honour. For they sacrifice their comfort, time, and, when necessary, even their very lives for the sake of their children. Therefore, every child who has not lost his humanity and not become like a wild beast ought sincerely to honour his revered, loyal, and self-sacrificing parents, lovingly serve them, fulfil their wishes, and bring joy to their hearts. Paternal uncles and aunts are regarded as fathers, while maternal uncles and aunts are regarded as mothers.

So realize how dreadful and disgraceful it is to regard the presence of one's blessed parents as a burden and thereby, in effect, wish for their death. Understand what an injustice and lack of conscience it is to desire the end of the lives of those who sacrificed and devoted their lives for yours.

O you who are concerned about your livelihood! Know that the elderly, blind, or infirm relative in your home whose presence you find burdensome is in fact a source of blessing, a cause of mercy, and a means by which calamities are repelled. Do not say, “My income is limited; I cannot make ends meet.” For if it were not for the blessings that come through their presence, your hardship and scarcity would be even greater.

Believe this truth that I am telling you. I could present decisive proofs and convince you of it completely, but in order not to prolong the discussion, I shall summarize it and ask you to be content with my words.

I assure you that this truth is absolutely certain. Even my own nafsThe aspect of the soul associated with lower desires and negative traits. and my own devil have submitted to it. A truth that has broken the stubbornness of my nafsThe aspect of the soul associated with lower desires and negative traits. and silenced my devil should certainly be capable of convincing you as well.

Indeed, Khāliq-i Dhul-Jalāl wal-IkrāmAllah, the Creator Whose majesty, greatness, and generosity are boundless., Who, as testified to by the universe, is infinitely Merciful, Compassionate, Subtle, and Generous, provides newborn children with nourishment in the most delicate manner by causing it to flow into their mouths through the fountains of their mothers’ breasts. Likewise, He provides sustenance, in the form of blessing, for the elderly, who assume the state of children and are even more deserving of mercy and tenderness than children themselves. He does not make their sustenance dependent upon the greed and miserliness of human beings.

اِنَّ اللّٰهَ هُوَ الرَّزَّاقُ ذُو الْقُوَّةِ الْمَتٖينُ“Indeed, Allah is the Provider, the Possessor of unwavering strength. – The Quran 51:58

وَكَاَيِّنْ مِنْ دَٓابَّةٍ لَا تَحْمِلُ رِزْقَهَا اَللّٰهُ يَرْزُقُهَا وَاِيَّاكُمْ“And how many creatures are there that do not carry their own provision! Allah provides for them and for you. He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing. – The Quran 29:60

The truth expressed by these verses is proclaimed through the condition and conduct of all living creatures. Not only does the sustenance of elderly relatives come in the form of blessing, but even the sustenance of certain creatures such as cats—which have been given to human beings as companions and whose provision is included within human provision—comes as a blessed gift.